Finding Yourself - Who are you really?

In the 1960's and 1970's a lot of young people set out for far flung places in search of their personal identity. They sat at the feet of a guru in India or studied transcendental meditation, they believed in flower power. Nowadays, there are people who take a selfie and post it on Twitter, letting others find them as opposed to finding themselves.  Sort of like the guy who joined the Navy to let the world see him as opposed to the old British recruiting slogan "join the Navy and see the world".

I thought about this yesterday when I attended a seminar to celebrate International Women's Day.  I have to ask myself if we need an International Women's Day but let's skip that debate.  Anyway, one of the questions the facilitator put to us was "who do you see yourself as?"   This was a tricky one, actually.  Most of the women saw themselves as wife and mother figures.  I had a problem with that.  Yes, I am an ex-wife and a mother but my children are grown up and have their own lives.  I am very proud of them but I don't feel the label "mother" fits any more.  So who am I now?  Retired lady?  Reader, writer, walker, lover of the sea?  Yes, all of that but the facilitator wanted a one word definition.  I plumped for "free spirit" - admittedly the other women gave me some looks of surprise. But I reckon that's what I am and I hope that is what my readers are.  You can be what you want to be but you must make time for it, the facilitator said.  Now, when I was working full time and my children were growing up, there wasn't much time for me.  I probably could have used a seminar like this one to gain a few insights into being there for yourself.  But now I can relax and do my own thing. As I live alone I don't have to put meals on the table, I can stay in bed all day if I want to (I don't), I can even stay up all night without fear of waking someone else.  Don't get me wrong.  I enjoyed my busy life as a mother but now I feel I have deserved my holiday from all that.

It's Sunday, so when I have finished writing this, I'll make myself a pot of tea, put my feet up and read the Sunday papers - I've already been for a walk to the beach.

 Cheers everyone and I hope your Sunday is just as enjoyable.

Ready for the Storm

As I write this, my little town is bracing itself for yet another storm.  As far as I can guess, the wind is already around gale force on the Beaufort scale. Sir Francis Beaufort who devised this method of recording the strength of storms in 1805, was an Irishman serving in the Royal Navy aboard HMS Woolwich.  I can see why an Irishman would be interested in gale force winds.  This year we have experienced more than enough high winds and sea surges.  The next red warning is for later this evening and tonight.  High tide, with possible surges to match, is due here in my little town at 5 pm this evening.  The local council is busy erecting barriers but I am not sure that the wall near where I live will be fully built in time for tonight.  

There is nothing anyone can do in a storm except take as many precautions as possible and then simply ride it out.  At some stage it will go away.  I couldn't help thinking that that is what life is like, too.  One day you are in calm waters and all is well, then something happens which throws you off course.  It could be illness, losing your job, being involved in an accident.  You are left punch-drunk, wondering how this all happened, where did it all come from and how are you going to get over it?   And the miracle of life is that we all do get over it.  True, we may have a few scars, we may be limping a bit, but at some stage we shake ourselves and realise that it is behind us, that we can move on with our lives.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer I felt as if someone had pulled not only the rug but the entire floor from under my feet.  I was faced with my own mortality which was a very frightening experience.  But after a few weeks the will to survive, to endure, kicked in.  Now six and a half years later, I am back on track, I often forget that I had cancer until I get my check-up appointment.  And I am endlessly thankful for having my health and strength back again.

So, as I watch the rain cascading down the windows, driven by gusts of wind, I prepare myself for when the full force of the storm hits.  But I also know that "this too will pass." 

Imagine

The Germans say was fuer ein Theatre when they want to criticize all the hype over something insignificant.  To me the expression conjures up people in costume leaping about and making violent speeches.  I suppose that is the impression it is supposed to give.

I had a night out at the theatre recently.  I went to see Oscar Wilde's An Ideal Husband at the Everyman in Cork.  It was a great night out.  Very different from the usual popcorn munching visits to the cinema, it was what can only be described as an occasion.  You don't go to the theatre wearing jeans and a t-shirt, or at least I feel you shouldn't!   It's a great excuse to dress up.  In fact, I could just imagine ladies in long evening dresses accompanied by black-coated gentlemen sitting in the plush seats or occupying the balconies.  Oscar Wilde's sparkling dialogue coupled with the sumptious costumes of the players made for a wonderful evening.  Interestingly I noticed a lot of young people in the audience who seemed to be enjoying themselves hugely.  The outdated language didn't seem to faze them and they laughed at all the little innuendos which make up Wilde's style.

This is what our "must have it all now" society misses out on.  Oscar Wilde's wit would be thrown away on a tiny screen or even on a big screen.   "Ah, nowadays people marry as often as they can, don't they" says Lady Markby in An Ideal Husband, "it is most fashionable."  This line is hilarious on stage but I imagine that being seen on film with a possible close up of the speaker would spoil it considerably and on a very small screen it would be lost completely.  It is the flesh and blood presence of the actors that makes Wilde's plays so amusing. 

I came away from the Everyman smiling to myself and determined to go to the theatre more often.  I picked up their programme for the first half of the year and there are many performances I'd like to attend.  That is what I call entertainment.

New Beginnings and the Feel Good Factor

I am convinced that once New Year's Day is behind us here in the Western hemisphere, the light changes subtly and becomes softer.  I am just back from a walk on the beach and it was warm enough for me to sit on a bench for an hour and watch the tide coming in.  Local residents were out in force, anxious to see for themselves the evidence of all that damage done by high tides and stormy winds.  The sea was still showing some muscle power with waves a little bigger than usual crashing on the rocks.  All in all though, I felt the first faint stirrings of Spring.  The sparrows and wagtails seemed to feel the same and were darting about busily while the crows and seagulls dipped low over the water keeping an eye out for food left by the humans.  In fact, one father had gone down to the water's edge with his son and left a baby's bottle and a packet of biscuits on one of the benches.  In no time at all a crowd of crows had descended on the biscuits while the father was busy taking photographs of his little boy. Not that the birds suffer from hunger here, there is always more than enough for them to scavenge and here on the coast the weather is never too cold to make a difference to their feeding habits.  But they love things that humans eat.  Once I spilt the contents of an ice cream cone onto the rocks and before you could say "caw caw" a bunch of crows had devoured it all.

Here are some pictures I took the other day when the sun was out. I hope I never forget to be grateful that the beach is just a short walk away.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

A big thank you to my blog readers.  I wish you all a wonderful time with family and friends and everything that's good in the New Year.

I will be spending Christmas with my daughter, son-in-law and my two grandsons and New Year with my son and his wife.  So I don't even have to bid a turkey the time of day!  It will be nice to be spoiled, to watch the glow on the face of my eldest grandchild when he sees the Christmas tree and all the colourfully wrapped presents and to ring in the New Year with sparkling wine at my son and daughter-in-law's house.

As a child I loved Christmas.  We always walked to midnight Mass and I remember how magical the countryside seemed bathed in the light of the stars.  Being Ireland I am sure we had more rain than stars but all I can remember are the frosty nights and the lights on in all the houses across the valley as people got ready for Mass. I loved being allowed to stay up so late!  And then the singing!  My favourite Christmas song of all time is Silent Night.  It was (and still is, no doubt) the closing carol sung at Midnight Mass in Germany and I think it is even more beautiful in its native (German) language.  I will be attending Midnight Mass on Tuesday and I hope my grandson will carry happy memories into the future of a wonderful service with candles and stars and hymns.

Before all that there is the long journey to be absolved - bus, train, bus again then airplane then being collected at the airport.  Snow is not forecast, it is scheduled to be very mild and windy.

I wish each and every one of you a wonderful time.

Mirror Mirror

Help!  I spent yesterday shopping or at least trying to shop for a few sweaters.  No big deal, you might say.  That's what I thought until I stepped in front of the three-way mirrors in the fitting rooms.  Front on I looked OK, tolerable from the back but that sideways view was as deflating as ten burst balloons.  Deflating might even have been the best option.  My question then and now is:  how did I manage to gain so many unsightly bulges?  I have to go up one size in order to get anything to fit and even then.....

I can now understand Snow White's step mother asking that mirror on the wall the all-important question, only mine would have been "do I look big in this?" and the mirror would have no option but to answer "you sure do."

I didn't buy anything.  Instead I told myself I was going on the strictest of strict diets for the next 12 months.  Next question is of course:  how's my self-control? The answer is:  I don't have any.  I like cooking, I like food, I like sweet things like cake and chocolate and we're coming up to Christmas when all these things are going to be even more saliva-inducingly displayed (yeah, I know saliva-inducingly isn't a proper word but right now I have other things to worry about).  And I'm a great believer in the old adage "you only live once".
People with a bit of meat on their bones are usually cheerful, happy, outgoing people or they used to be until the advent of the super-skinny brigade.  Now I suppose they all agonize in private over the extra pounds.  I am trying not to do that.  At the same time I have to confess that when I came down with a bad cold last month (no blogs written as you'll have noticed) I actually lost two pounds in weight and I have been delighted with myself ever since - until I went shopping yesterday that is. I haven't weighed myself again for fear I've gained those pounds again. 

It's all a bit crazy isn't it?  If you meet someone for the first time do you automatically write them off because they are carrying a few extra pounds? I suspect you do what we all do, see them as a whole person and not as a load on a weighing scales. If we are healthy, get enough exercise, eat lots of fruit and vegetables and then have the occasional treat of chocolate or cake, shouldn't that be enough without worrying about being too fat?   That's what I've been telling myself since yesterday when those mirrors revealed the true me.  Of course, I'm going to cut down a tiny bit and eat smaller portions from now on.  With Christmas coming it won't be easy.

Let's look at this weight business again in June of next year, shall we?  In the meantime, a happy Advent season to everyone.

You couldn't make it up

I love to trawl the web for things to brighten my day.  I mean, who wants to hear all the time about spying, the economy - improving or not improving - and the bad weather?   It's much more exciting to browse websites which give me a chuckle and restore my faith in the eccentricity of human beings.

I am indebted to France24's English website for the pain au chocolat story.  Pain au chocolat is a chocolatey bread and delicious, let me tell you.  Anyone who has stayed in France will have tried this French breakfast favourite at some stage, it beats marmalade on toast if you dip in in your milky coffee while lounging on the terrace of a fashionable eatery and admiring the sunshine falling on those beautiful Paris buildings.   But I digress.  This story broke because the two bodyguards assigned to a former government aide complained that he had created a scene because they had not bought his pain au chocolat.  They complained to their union and then the story came out that this guy was given a less than prestigious position (in his own opinion) and which did not include a chauffeur.  He claimed he was receiving death threats and was duly given two bodyguards who acted as drivers, which encouraged him to think that he could use them as a form of servant.  Currently France is having a laugh at this.You can check out the story in English here http://www.france24.com/en/20131101-mediawatch-cope-pain-au-chocolat-french-politics-scandal-pastries?page=117

Then there was the drunken man who was staggering around in Landsberg Germany and decided to spend the night in a stables - on a horses's back. A horsewoman arriving for an early morning ride found him and alerted the police.  No comment!!  I haven't included a link here but you can find it on YouTube by keying in the appropriate search words.

Four schools in Southern Zimbwawbe have been closed following complaints that children were being attacked by goblins according to the Bulawayo Chronicle.  I wonder what constitutes a "goblin"?   I wish there had been some mention of this when I was going to school.
I found the report on the Sunday Times Weird but wonderful section, page 10 of News Review.

And lastly I have to thank one of my favourite websites http:www.messynessychic.com for this most spooky story, it's worthy checking out:

For all those living in the whereabouts of the New Hamburg train station in New York, a strange spectacle piques the interest. This mystery involves a porch occupied by a changing number of life-size female dolls dressed in different trends from the twentieth century, whose number, position, and theme, vary from day to day.  A number of quirky (creepy) objects accompany the dolls on the porch. 

Neighbours don’t seem to know anything about the current owners of the house, built in 1845. The Greek Revival wood frame structure is one of the only surviving structures on the block from an 1877 fire. At night, a kitchen light can be seen through the drape covering the front door. A vegetable garden is kept in the backyard. On many rainy days, the dolls disappear into the quarters of the paint-pealed home. In 1871, a train wreck occurred amidst a two-week record-breaking cold wave in which 22 people were killed less than two hundred feet away from the house.

More about this spooky mystery found on Atlas Obscura