Know Your Tribe

I've heard the expression "your tribe" very often but have never really looked at it in relation to myself. There are so many modern and trendy expressions which disappear after they have been used or over-used.
Find your tribe we are told. What? Doesn't that just mean, know who your friends are? And who are your friends? Friends are people who are there for you in tough times, when you're in a bad place, when you've made a horse's rear end of yourself and can't laugh about it. They know you are more than the mistakes you made, the lousy relationship you're in or the super success of that promotion you got. They know you.
So if that's what finding your tribe means, it's not so mysterious or complicated. Everyone has loads of acquaintances, people they meet for dinner, for coffee, for a trip to the theatre. People they chat to when collecting the kids from school or sport, people who gossip with you at the water cooler. They are not your friends, although they could be if you got to know them better, if you wanted to get to know them better.
Have you been betrayed by people you thought were friends? I know I have, quite a few times. I discovered that someone who I thought was a close friend was going around bad-mouthing me to a neighbour - that neighbour was always so helpful that I was shocked to find out about it - so this was a double-whammy: a supposed friend and a nice neighbour who in fact couldn't say a nice word about me when they got together. I discovered it by accident because my nice neighbour couldn't resist starting to criticize my supposed good friend and when I objected she said "you should hear what she says about you" and she proceeded to tell me, making me realize that she had happily joined in!  I suppose, looking back with the clarity of hindsight, that both these women were unhappy about something in their own lives and they needed to point the finger at someone to take away their own hurt.
So, find your tribe. Be careful who you put your trust in, though. What did that song by the Eurhythmics "Sweet Dreams" say:  "some people want to use you"?
I firmly believe that most people are genuine, kind people. And I've knocked around in this old world long enough to come to that realization. Do I have a lot of close friends? No, I don't. I think that if you go through life and you end up with two people who you can speak every thought as it arises, who will tell you what they think but who won't judge you, you have hit the jackpot in the lottery of life.

Favourite Childhood Reads

My brother and I were reminiscing about our childhood books and films the other day. We loved the Bobbsey Twins and we even built a dam on a little stream near the house after reading one of their adventures. And there was Pocomoto, of course, and the boys from the T-Bar-T (I think that was the name) who I envied because they had their own horses to ride. I remember crying over Lassie Come Home and The Call of the Wild.

When I started secondary school, I read some of the Chalet School books, Little Women, Anne of Green Gables and other lesser known novels such as Jill's Gymkhana and Fiander's Horses. Fiander's Horses gave me a lot of insight into the racing world and working in a racing stables. I love horses (I love all animals) and if I ever got rich (which I never will) I would love to own a racehorse.

I remember that the owner of the local news agent once told me that I "liked boys' books" because I bought Westerns, which I think she thought odd. I read The Oxbow Incident without perhaps really understanding all the nuances of this story. Zane Grey has always been a favourite, in particular Under the Tonto Rim, a book which reminded me and still reminds me of my childhood. Many years ago, when I lived in Germany, I wanted to read this novel again but it was only available in German which would not have the same effect, I felt. I wrote to the Zane Grey people in the U.S. (pre-internet!!) and asked if I could purchase a copy direct from them. They very kindly sent me a free copy - unfortunately I have lost the very gracious letter that accompanied it - and I still have it as one of my prized possessions.

I hear a lot about people discovering reading during covid-19 quarantine. That has to be one of the good things to emerge from this crisis. My mother used to say that even if you only read a "penny dreadful" as those cheap magazines were called, you still learned something. There is nothing quite like settling down with a book written by a favourite author.
What am I reading right now? One False Move, a Harlan Coben thriller published in 1998 which I picked up in a local store.