Awesome

 I found an article I had cut out a few years ago, from The Sunday Times I think. Anyway, the writer states that according to researchers at Stanford University, all you need is awe. The study revealed that regular "awe-inspiring moments" can improve mental health because your life satisfaction is getting a boost every time you have such a moment, as examples looking at the Niagara Falls or the Grand Canyon were mentioned. Hmmm.

So what would be awe-inspiring for you and me? Something on a less grander scale, I feel. In fact, we would need to define exactly what we mean by "awe". Let's just tone it down a bit, let's substitute "awe" for "happy". For me, "happy" covers that feeling of excitement when you are looking forward to some event, it comprises that warm feeling when you are with your loved ones, sharing a meal or watching a move or just sitting and talking. I feel happy when I am meeting a friend for lunch or going for walks by the sea. I 'm happy that I live the proverbial stone's throw from the sea and can stroll along the beach with the wind in my hair any time I feel like it. Awesome!

Apparently, if we experience something awesome it changes our perception, makes us see things in a new light. This in turn makes us happier people and we are more likely to be nice to others.

A word of warning: if you are walking along on the beach or in the park and have your head down because you are on  your mobile phone, then you are not only missing the "awesome-ness" around you, you are very likely to crash into another equally oblivious mobile-phone-user or even into one of the awesome trees that fill the park.

Have an awesome week, dear readers!

To make friends or not?

I don't belong here...

I believe there is a book out at the moment by Elizabeth Day Friendaholic, Confessions of a Friendship Addict. The author claims she is addicted to making friends which is an interesting idea. Do you feel you have to have a host of people following your every move on FaceBook or Twitter? Loads of phone calls, texts, from various people? Otherwise you don't feel you're really living?

Now, I have to ask you, what do you understand under the word "friendship"? Is it your Best Friend Forever, as I discovered BFF is short form for. (I did mean to end that sentence with a preposition, thanks). If so, what do you understand under the term "friendship"? Someone you meet for coffee every so often and have a moan with about, you know, the big one: Life: the husband, boyfriend, boss, colleague and all their faults? Or is it someone you chat to on the street, attend the same gym, see them at the bus stop, wherever, you're always glad to see them but not really close. Or the person you think, "I really have to tell her/him this, she/he'll be so pleased," when something good happens to you - promotion at work, you finally meet the Right Person and they ask you to marry them, - big stuff like that. And you know that the other person is going to be delighted, excited for you. Or the friend who can tell you that you are making a horse's rear end of yourself and make you see where you are going wrong and still leave you in no doubt that they care about you despite all that? Or the friend who lives far away and you only get to see each other once or twice a year but it's like you saw them yesterday because you can pick up the threads so easily?

Depending what you answer, I think it might be an idea to change "friend" into "acquaintance" I have friends - a few - from way back when we shared our first flat together, I have friends from my London flat life. These are really my closest friends. We've been through it all, the heartaches, the laughter, grief at the loss of a loved one, and we've kept in touch all down the years. We don't need to pretend to each other. We remember having a ball on New Year's Eve and we remember being on our own on that date another time and listening to the party next door and hearing the church bells and ships' sirens heralding in the New Year and feeling like we were the only people on the planet who were alone. I like to remember that particular time, I must admit, it signalled a "low" in our lives but we came out the other side laughing. I know I can still tell my friends anything or they can tell me anything that is on their minds or on my mind and we will understand each other and we won't judge.

I have acquaintances, too. I enjoy their company, we go to the theatre, the cinema, concerts, day excursions, restaurants together. I know them well, can guess their reaction to situations, their take on things. But we have not experienced the depths and heights which I have shared with my close friends. And it is this depth which forges the deepest friendship.This is not a reflection on acquaintances, they are very important in everyone's life.  

Many years ago some famous philosopher said that you are lucky if you have more than three friends during your lifetime. Yes, as I get older, I begin to understand that. I don't feel the need to go out and make undying friendships every week. In fact, friendships grow on you and are a part of your life before you recognise it. And that's nice, it's the way it should be.

Here's to close friends, acquaintances and all the people inbetween. Without you all, the world would be a far bleaker place.